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"Cause every night, who's in your bed?"
I wish that I had a good, racy answer to this question. But, I don’t. It’s Jared in my bed. Just. About. Every. Night. Sometimes I wonder why I get up in the morning and don’t feel rested, and then I realize that it’s because I get woken up in the middle of the night all the time.
Jared has needed to sleep with someone since birth. He would not sleep anywhere else. Even if he miraculously fell asleep in the moving car, his little blue eyes would pop open the minute the car stopped. He could be out cold in your arms, but if you tried to lay him down, POP went the little blue eyes. Vibrating bouncy chair…waste of money! Swing…not worth the effort of assembly! Nap in a stroller…you must be kidding! To say that he was “high maintenance” would be putting it mildly. The thing is, he didn’t care who was holding him. As long as he was being held, he was happy. As long as he was happy, he wasn’t screaming. As long as he wasn’t screaming, we could relax. Get the picture?
So, you’d think it’s not a big deal, right? I was breastfeeding anyway (and his lack of desire to take a bottle when I went back to work meant he nursed all night) so having him in bed with me would actually make sense. Yeah, you’d think. Except for the fact that Bailey, who had been a wonderful sleeper since birth, suddenly refused to go to bed unless he could sleep with me. It had to be me. Daddy wasn’t good enough. We tried everything, even going to bed and leaving him up. He stayed up all night! So, in the interest of actually getting some sleep, we put Bailey in bed with me.
Have you ever shared a bed with a 2 year old? They don’t stay still. We thought that it would be dangerous to have Jared in the bed if Bailey was in there. So, Jared and Ryan moved to the guest bed, For 4 months. In the grand scheme of life, 4 months isn’t all that long. Ryan moved back, Jared finally started sleeping (well, beginning the night at any rate) in the bassinet, and Bailey moved back to his own bed. However, Jared still won’t sleep the night by himself. For a very long time, he had to sleep with Ryan. He didn’t want a thing to do with me after bedtime. I guess it was the bonding they shared during the first 4 months of his life. Now, the majority of the time Jared will go to sleep in his own bed. But at least 5 nights a week he appears in our room in the middle of the night with his blanket. Still, it wouldn’t be so bad, but most of the time he arrives crying. Or, he feels the need to wake me up just to tell me that he’s there (“Hi, Mommy! I’m going to sleep with you!” or “Daddy! I need you!”. The nights he just climbs in, I usually stay asleep. But the nights he wakes me, I’m up. For a couple of hours usually. It really sucks!
We’ve read every article. We’ve tried it all. Bottom line, though, we need to sleep. We have finally given up on sending him back to his room. When we do that, Ryan either ends up in the bottom bunk with him (and, at 6’1” that’s a tight fit!) or Jared cries and cries and keeps us awake forever. He can stay up and cry for over 2 hours before he finally falls back asleep.
Ryan is a night owl and I usually end up asleep long before he makes his way upstairs (considering I stay up way to late myself, that’s really impressive). If Jared comes in before Ryan does, Ryan ends up on the couch or in the guest room. If Jared wanders in after Ryan is there…Ryan ends up moving to the couch of the guest room (because it gets too crowded with Jared, his blankets, his baby...). Sometimes Jared follows Ryan and I find them both on the couch in the morning.
And now you know exactly why there has not been a baby #3 yet!
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