|locked design diaryland|
"And I'm sick of grading papers that I know"
I’m restless today. I can’t sit still. As I type, I am tapping my foot just to keep moving. I’m sleepy and the Starbucks-induced caffeine buzz hasn’t kicked in yet (and at this point, almost 7 hours later, I’m pretty doubtful that it will). So my students have a tired, bouncy teacher today. I’m sure they are entertained.
I have had these random stream-of-consciousness things running through my head all day. It’s one of those days where the kids are working on a group assignment and not a day where I am busy directly teaching a new concept. I have to wander around and supervise, but that leaves lots of room in my brain for rambling.
You are lucky. I’ve decided to share with you. I know that you are so excited now…(*big fat eye roll*)
*I really wish that I were cuddled beneath my down comforter sound asleep right now.
*I had a tough time getting up this morning.
*I actually debated calling in sick and going back to bed.
*In the end, I got up, but decided to give-in to the urge to be a complete slug somewhat so I put on sweatpants, my favorite fleece Disneyland sweatshirt, and my Uggs.
*Tomorrow is school-spirit pajama day.
*You can bet your ass that I will wear my pajamas and slippers to school.
*However, I will not wear the ones I sleep in tonight…I will put on something clean in the morning.
*Ironically, although I’m exhausted, I’m sure that I’ll stay up way too late yet again tonight.
*I have no self-discipline when it comes to getting to sleep at a decent hour.
*And I wonder why my kids don’t like to go to bed…
*I have this incredible urge to write something profound or witty.
*Only, I can’t think of anything profound or witty to say.
*Earlier today l found an ant crawling across the lid of my coffee.
*I peeked inside but didn’t find any more doing the breaststroke or anything, so I think it was a lone renegade.
*I only debated for about 3 seconds before I decided to keep drinking the coffee even at the risk of swallowing a drowned ant.
*My first thought when I walked out of the house this morning was, “Crap! It’s raining already.”
*My second thought was, “I am so glad that I don’t teach 2nd grade anymore!”
*My third thought was, “Bailey and Jared will be bouncing off the walls all afternoon.”
*My fourth thought was, “Poor Grammy!” because she is babysitting this afternoon & evening while Debra is enjoying her last day of vacation in Mexico, while Ryan is at a seminar for work, and while I attend my Physics class.
*Then I grinned because it won’t be my problem. (And, yes, I realize how evil that it!)
*I can’t believe that it is December already.
*The number 4 is a December theme this year.
*Four years ago this was my first day of maternity leave.
*In the next 4 weeks we have 4 immediate family birthdays (mom, me, dad, and Jared).
*I still haven’t figured out what to get Jared for his birthday…I’m not buying the black leather “Roger jacket” that he wants because he’ll grow out of it in about 4 minutes.
*I still have 3 nights of Hanukkah to shop for as well. (I wanted to say 4 nights even though it would be a lie.)
*Thank goodness that yesterday was payday.
*I wonder how come the days that I am super busy at work are the days where I get tons of email and can’t even dream of reading it while the days that are slow at work are slow for email, too?
*I wonder why I constantly get disconnected from my Yahoo messenger at work.
*Then I wonder exactly how much trouble I’d be in when an administrator walked in and I was reading my yahoo email or chatting on messenger...or how quickly I could switch over to the attendance program and make it look like I was really working…
*Does pasta with meatless balls really taste the same if you close your eyes?
*Tuesday I was bored because I had no papers to grade.
*Today I am too restless to focus on the papers that I need to grade.
*Why is it that if I tell someone that my tummy doesn’t feel well the first response is that look and the question, “So, are you pregnant?”
*I really want to reply with the words, “No fucktard, I’m not,” but I don’t because (most of the time) I am nicer than that.
* I had a bad case of “baby fever” a couple of weeks ago.
*Ryan seems especially happy that it passed...or so he thinks… (Just ‘cause I ain’t talking about it doesn’t mean that it’s gone, honey…)
*And, for the record, nope, I’m not pregnant…and yes, I am certain.
*Do I have a middle school sense of humor because I teach middle school and I’m exposed to it all day?
*Or do I teach middle school because I still have that constantly-in-the-gutter sense of humor?
*My entire class erupted into laughter today because of the announcement, “As of today we have 69 overdue library books.”
*Considering what a potty-mouth I have, I’m amazed that I have not ever slipped and sworn or made a dirty comment in front of my students.
*Although, I have inadvertently said things that have a double-entendre, which is really bad when you teach 7th and 8th graders.
*Yeah…like the time I asked a male student, “You mean to tell me that you don’t have any balls?”
*I swear that I was referring to tennis balls.
*It took a while to get the class focused again after that!
*My mom tells me to “grow up” when I start giggling while reading Runaway Bunny to the kids (really, though…the bunny says to his mom, “If you blow me…”— now can you honestly tell me that it didn’t make you laugh too?)
*I have multiple responses that I like to use for the question, “Do we have to turn this in?”
*I vary them depending upon how sarcastic I am feeling at that particular moment.
*I simply give the teacher look.
*”You did not really just ask that!” (coupled with an eye roll)
*”Hmm, what do you think?” (I knew that Psych degree would come in handy!)
*”Nah, I just assigned it to keep you busy last night. I didn’t want to actually grade it.”
*”Only if you want credit for doing it.”
*”No, I am going to use my powers of mental telepathy to figure out what your score is.”
*”Nah, be a rebel. Go for the late credit today.”
*”It doesn’t matter. I don’t like you, so I’ll just give you a zero anyway.”
*The answer I sometimes want to give is, “What do you think, fucktard?”
*The innocence of my children sometimes stops me dead in my tracks.
*Yesterday Jared was listening to La Vie Boheme and became upset at a “bad word” in the song.
*The word was hate.
*Personally, I think hate is a bad word, too.
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