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"Truth like a blazing fire, an eternal flame" Ah, shit. Sometimes reading through your diary archives is a bad idea. There are times that I just don�t want to have that moment of epiphany and understand myself better. I think that this was one of those times. I couldn�t sleep tonight. I was exhausted, but then stayed up way too late on messenger with Lisa and got my second wind. I think that I officially hit over-tired-with-a-side-of-silly when we were listening to clips from Team America and I had tears rolling down my face because I was laughing so hard (this movie is now on my �must see� list). Lisa wisely logged off and went to sleep. I didn�t (note to self: you may go to sleep earlier if you remove the laptop from the bedroom). I did a few random internet searches and found some fun stuff. Then, for reasons I can�t figure out, I started reading my old diary posts. So, I�m sitting here listening to�shocker of all shockers�the Rent soundtrack and I stumbled upon the entry I wrote about Julie . And I read what I wrote 7 months ago. And I thought about what I wrote today about Roger being my favorite character from Rent. BAM! It hit me like a fucking bolt of lightening. I started to cry. Real gut-wrenching sobs with tears streaming down my cheeks. Here are my own words about Julie�s death: Sound like Roger? How come I never noticed that before?!?!? I always thought Roger appealed to me because a) I�ve always had a thing for the �pretty boy front man� moody musician type and b) he was the opposite of me�the yin to my yang. Not. So. Much. At least it explains why Another Day has been the song I keep repeating over and over on the new CD. And, I think that now a whole new layer of the story has just slapped me in the face. 0 comments Listening to: Reading: Eating/drinking: Do what to me?!? - April 24, 2007 Wicked funny websearch - April 05, 2007 Trot out the dogs 'n ponies - March 31, 2007 Almost done... - March 20, 2007 Who am I? - March 12, 2007 READ ME |