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Physically fit & mentally...well, the jury's still out Exactly what physical requirements are there for a teaching job? I ask because CUSD requires a physical before employment. So, today and 2pm I dragged my sick-with-the-end-of-a-stomach-flu self over to the occupational medicine clinic. After filling out a ridiculously long medical history form, I sat and waited for 30 minutes before being called back into the office. The 10 minute appointment consisted of: First the nurse evaluation� Reading the eye chart with both eyes, with one eye, frontwards and backwards (Lest I �cheat� by memorizing the row or something.) Finding out my height�which she recorded at 5�2.5��woo hoo, I gained a whole .75� by keeping my shoes on! (How is that going to affect my job anyway? I mean, I�m sure many of the students will be taller than me.) The dreaded weight check�again with shoes (Don�t they get that the extra 1-2 pounds from the sneakers matters?!?!?) Peeing in a cup (I *always* get performance anxiety over this and her drawing a line to show me where to fill to didn�t help any.) Blood pressure check (I get anxiety here, too, ever since I had pregnancy-induced hypertension so they usually need to take it twice to get a normal reading.) Periphial vision assessment (Better known as �tell me when you see the pen, but don�t turn your head.) Hearing assessment (Weirdest one ever�she had me face the wall and whispered numbers from across the room which I had to repeat. Do they not have the beeping machine with the headphones? Besides, I�m a mom and a teacher�I can hear everything!) Then, I had to put on the most attractive outfit on the face of the earth. Damn did I feel sexy in the navy blue paper shorts and the white paper crop top with the back hanging open. Oooh, yeah baby! If my purse had been bigger, I think I�d have taken the shorts home for a laugh. Finally the doctor came in� Ears, eyes and throat check with that hideously bright light (All fine) Listening to my heart and lungs (Again fine) Abdominal palpitations (At which point she asked if I�d ever had abdominal surgery�gee, so glad that I filled out the 400 page health history for you since it says right there that I had 2 c-sections!) Standing up and touching my toes, leaning backwards, and rotating from side to side (If I ever bend over backwards like that in my classroom the kids will all die from laughter.) And, the final test, I had to stand there perfectly still with my eyes shut (At this point, I hope that you�re thinking, �What the fuck?!?� because that�s what I was thinking the whole time.) Someone, please explain to me when I will be doing that in the course of my job. A middle school teacher, standing perfectly still, with her eyes closed for 2 minutes. Ummm, yeah. Never. Won�t happen. But, hey, I found out that I�m healthy enough to be a teacher. Good thing it�s not a psychological evaluation. I think that anyone who chooses to teach middle school is more than a bit off their rocker! 0 comments Listening to: Reading: Eating/drinking: Do what to me?!? - April 24, 2007 Wicked funny websearch - April 05, 2007 Trot out the dogs 'n ponies - March 31, 2007 Almost done... - March 20, 2007 Who am I? - March 12, 2007 READ ME |