|locked design diaryland|
I thought it was all behind me. I mean, I fulfilled my last obligation by mailing out the cd’s I’d promised to 3 of the girls. I wasn’t really curious anymore about how the drama was played out.
Except, I guess it must still be bothering me. Somewhere deep inside that I only have time to visit in my dreams.
Dreams are a weird thing. They rarely make complete sense. It’s not often that I think the meaning behind my dream is clear. After 2 dreams in the same night, with the same general theme, I think it’s crystal clear…
In the first dream, I had gone to New Jersey. I’ve never been there in real life. So, why New Jersey? Apparently I went to visit one of the moms from the online group that “poofed” me. I went with Bailey. Jared didn’t even exist. I was so nervous about seeing everyone and afraid that it would be tense. I was woken up by Jared climbing into bed with us at that point, so I’m not sure where my subconscious was going with the rest of the dream. But, I do think that Jared didn’t exist in the dream because if it weren’t for my pregnancy with him, I wouldn’t have met these women.
Later that night, I had a second dream. In this one, it was Halloween and I was taking the boys trick-or-treating. We were standing at a house and I was telling them that I was nervous about going around the block to the house on the other side of the fence. They were begging me to go anyway, so we did. As soon as the door opened, I knew why I was nervous. The house belonged to another of the moms from that group, and I was afraid that she’d be rude. Instead, she invited me in. I felt so happy and relieved. I knew that this mom had disliked me for a while and it felt good to put it behind us and be friends.
Why is it that I can't just move on? My subconscious wants me to relive something that painful, but I can't figure out what purpose it serves.past | future
Do what to me?!? - April 24, 2007
Wicked funny websearch - April 05, 2007
Trot out the dogs 'n ponies - March 31, 2007
Almost done... - March 20, 2007
Who am I? - March 12, 2007